Cancer & Lymes Disease vs. Health, Community and Love!  

At 31, I had been given a diagnosis, post biopsy, of breast cancer.  I immediately put this information into the far recesses of my mind and completely ignored the situation as it was information I wasn't capable of hearing, much less, integrating at that stage of my life.  In fact, I didn't even tell my partner at the time.  In my denial, I told myself that my diagnosis was fibrous breasts due to alcohol, caffeine and other indulgent toxins.  I continued to live in this state of complete denial and even convinced myself having completely forgotten the diagnosis until years later. 
Six years later, a series of events brought me to the acute stages of 'dis'-ease and my journey put forth the first lesson of health and balance.  Re-receiving the cancer diagnosis in a more acute and bodily attack,  I had been suffering intense waves of exhaustion from the cancer and very very intense 'flu-like/nerve pain' symptoms from the lymes disease and my reality changed quite rapidly.  I was then faced with my first lesson of spirituality, balance and health.  
"Giving and Receiving"--Lesson 1: I went from a being in a state of strength, independence, self-sufficiency, provider and pillar to a state of complete and total need unable to care for myself on the most basic levels.  I found myself weak, dependent, energy-less, scared, frustrated, humiliated and so forth. At the time, I had just embarked upon a very loving and new relationship that I was extremely inspired by, but the diagnosis of cancer left me feeling quite vulnerable as well as cognizant that neither of us had signed up for 'this'.  So, I tried to end the relationship and push my lover away a few different times but he was lovingly persistent and supportive in ways I had never experienced in my life.  Needless to say, the harder I pushed the more he supported and loved.  Eventually, I became too sick to resist and the turbulence of life's river took its course.  I found myself being fully supported by someone for the first time in my life which was unnerving for me since I had been working since the age of 12.  I also began to realize that I had been surrounded by a community that was ready and willing to support me and my health journey.  At that time in my life, I had no idea how to receive because giving was so much safer and easier for me--a seemingly much less vulnerable position.  So, with humiliation and intrigue I found myself being 'forced' to receive love, support, care, nurturing and guidance (spiritually/physically/emotionally).  I had no choice but to receive after years of giving.  Lesson 1: One cannot truly give until one learns how to truly receive.  I am still growing and evolving into this life long lesson!
"Mind, Body, Thoughts & Purpose"-- Lesson 2: During the most acute part of my journey, I wasn't sure that I'd live to see today!  I spent long seemingly un-ending days stuck in bed with only enough energy to read, watch movies or sleep.  At times, even sleeping seemed like work and to journey from bed to bathroom was a full days work.  I had tons of time for self-introspection, physical and spiritual education and creativity.  So, I began educating myself on quantum mind, quantum thinking, quantum healing and mind power. Things we are all capable of integrating with an open mind and a desire to 'do something different'.  It was during this time, that I had decided that if I were to die, so be it.  But if I were to live, that I'd share my experience, self-knowledge and love with all willing to receive.  Thus, why I am doing what I do with music and community involvements.  With this self re-direction/healing, I became a student of vibration, quantum physics, ayurveda and nutrition.  A kind of 'school of hard knocks' approach but nonetheless informative. Lesson 2: Live and share your journey and experience with others that they may live, too!!!

So, I am inspired to 're-share' my blog on 'healing cancer & lymes disease'. With the additions of affordable therapeutical support.

Many have asked what helped me return to health from advanced breast cancer and advanced lyme disease 2007-2009.
MUSIC, hooping, the love of community, friends and family. The support of generous people in my community on various levels from practitioners to $$$ donors. My personal dedication to keeping a high vibration in the midst of the lowest lows with  meditation, listening to highly positive uplifting music, enjoying friends/family. Using various alternative treatments from hypnotherapy, naturopathy, quantum biofeedback, maitake mushroom, dietary-supplements to allopathic/herbal, ayurveda; by learning to relax (still a challenge) and my determination to finish what I've started! I resolved that I'd share my experience and thoughts and help where possible once I reached the 'flip-side'.
Health information and methods:
Ayurveda: "Prakruti: Your Ayurvedic Constitution", Svoboda
"Quantum Healing", Chopra, "Perfect Health", Chopra, "Ayurvedic Cook Book", Morningstar
Maitake Mushroom: Dr. Dale White (acupuncture/chiropractor), 707-824-8381
(Resource for purchasing the only exclusively endorsed maitake mushroom product by Dr. Nanba-founder.)
SOS Counseling: 707-284-3444.  They start at a $25 and up sliding scale.

What is Maitake Mushroom?
Maitake And Cancer
In a related study, the leading authority on Maitake, Dr. Hiroaki Nanba, from 1995 to 1996 reported that similar open-label exploratory studies with maitake were going on at university hospitals and partici-pating cancer clinics across Japan. He collected data from 165 volunteer patients with advanced-state cancers who were administered maitake. He concluded that maitake extract with the addition of maitake D-fraction shows definite promise as an adjunct treatment for cancer.
The patients took maitake D-fraction in capsules and maitake-extract tablets. Dosages appear to have varied from patient to patient with maitake D-fraction doses ranging from 35 to 100 mg per day, and the mushroom extract tablets ranging from 4 to 6 grams per day.
Dr. Nanba noted especially promising results for breast cancer and for lung cancer. He related that significant symptomatic improvements or regressions of tumors were seen in approx-imately 73.3% of patients with breast cancer, 46.6% of cases with liver cancer, and 66.6% of lung cancer cases.
When maitake D-fraction was administered in conjunction with chemotherapy, the responses improved by 12% to as much as 28%. In 90% of the patients, the addition of maitake D-fraction to their regimen appeared to reduce the side effects com-mon-ly associated with chemotherapy, such as hair loss, nausea, and loss of appetite. In reducing pain, maitake D-fraction appeared to be effective in 83% of patients.
Reference: Nanba, H. Activity of maitake D-fraction to inhibit carcinogenesis and metastasis. Ann NY Acad Sci 768:243-5, 1995.
A 1995 study at Japan's Kobe Pharmaceutical University investigated the effects of maitake's D-fraction on cancer in mice. Results showed 73.3-45.5% reduction in breast, lung, liver and prostrate cancer growth, 25% reduction in leukemia, 33.3% reduction in stomach cancer and 0–16% in bone cancer. These benefits increased 4–13% when combined with traditional chemotherapy treatment, as well as reducing chemotherapy's side effects and making it work better in treating cancer. Researchers attribute this latter result to the X and ES fractions of the mushroom. More recent studies of the use of MD-fraction in treating cancer patients have also found that its effectiveness varies somewhat depending on the type of cancer; a higher proportion of patients with cancers of the breast, lung, or liver showed improvement than patients with leukemia or brain cancers.
Another study by the same group of researchers looked at maitake's D-fraction function of activating memory T-cells. In turn, these T-cells remember the cells that started the tumor growth and nail them for destruction. The study found that maitake both decreases cancer cells and prevents them from occurring elsewhere in the body. In addition to its antitumor effects, maitake extract appears to increase cellular immunity to cancer.
Cancer research on apoptosis is one of the main areas of study. This process of programmed cell death is found to kill not only cancer cells, but all cells. At the Department of Urology, New York Medical College, in vitro research by Hiroshi Tazaki and his team shows that the D-fraction can kill prostate cancer cells.
Would love to hear your responses and look forward to working with you!  It takes a community to heal just one individual.

Denying, Minimizing, Projecting ... Healing - What will you choose?!?!!! 

 The Sun is high in the sky and the wind chimes blow gently in the summer's breeze. With a beautiful panorama in my gaze, I contemplate the ever awkward and mostly uncomfortable interactions I have within the 'American Culture' daily. I dream of my Euro-Asian experiences post tour and miss the balanced 'bio-freshe' communal minded 'way of being'. With the global idea of America being 'the richest most powerful country in the world' (we all 'know' better) I find that we may, infact, be the over indulged, spoiled rotten, screaming 2 year old with big toys crushing and destroying whatever stands in our way. Swinging our swords against each other in our daily interactions and against anyone daring to stand in our way globally. Why is this?  With this question, I take a look within at my own life experience and social interactions 'this lifetime'.  It is my personal belief, that I must heal myself and my ancestral DNA before my life is over so that I may transcend the cycle of re-incarnation. To lay 'my burden' down or mend the DNA strands that were broken when my ancestors were violently forced to come to 'America' via slave ship to become someone else's 'property' for commercial greed. This experience from my 'African descent', as a bi-racial 'fully passing' individual needs to be acknowledged, embraced and re-embroidered. Most ironically, the other half of my reality is derived from the perpetrator of this 'skin trade' as the decendent of a Welsh/Scottish tradition. As the decendent of two 'opposing forces', I find myself in a uniquely challenging position as the daughter of both the 'victim' and the 'perpetrator'.

How do I reconcile the fact of being the progeny of 'black and white' forces in the universe? I realize that it is within my being, grasp and DNA restructuring capabilities to acknowledge and heal my interestingly woven reality. On the precipice on which I stand, I am personally willing to acknowledge and own the slaughter, greed, volatility, abuse, rape, pilage and plunder of my 'perpetrating ancestors' inflicted upon my 'ancestoral victims' who were displaced, severely abused, raped, stripped, tortured, sodomized and murdered in the name of 'capitolism'. Both the giving and receiving of such heinous activities are tightly woven into my own personal structure and I am physically unable to deny either experience. This I must acknowledge and address from the very 'center' of my existence. Wholly realizing that this is why, when I am met with a challenging social interaction, I am no longer willing or able to 'receive' the perpetrator/bully mentality of my ancestral experience nor am I willing to 'take it'; thus, I find myself revolting whole heartedly from the core of my being in protection and retaliation of my position so deeply justified. However, I realize that my increasingly strong actions of retaliation and revolt may not be the solution to such violent perpetration, nor is succoming. But rather, owning, feeling and constructively conducting this energy into a neutral space of observation may just be the solution for such a precarious tight rope walk over the abyss I call existence.  

Instead of feeding the perpetrator energy by reacting, fighting and justifying; perhaps, completly negating the energy entirely is the answer. How is the energy of perpetration negated? By healing the wounded 'victim energy' of my ancestral DNA chain in acknowledgment of the hardships created by the perpetrator and by holding healthy, strong but non-confrontational boundaries for the perpetrator in much the same way a boundary is held for a fit throwing 2 year old. 'No, you cannot treat me this way; no, you cannot talk to me this way; no, you cannot harm me or project upon me in this way; no, you can no longer conquer/destroy because I am not available for 'playing the game'. By putting the burden down and walking away without feeding the fire is my only recourse as I stand in the very middle of my own ancestral fire. I believe Gandhi practiced this notion of passive resistance, yes? Am I suggesting to allow the injustices to occur? Absolutely not, but if there is no charge, hook or reaction there is no 'game'. If the perpetrator is continually evaded and observed rather than reacted toward then eventually the natural course of self-destruction occurs. 

So, I refuse to give the 'perpetrator energy' of my reality any more of my time, energy or reaction; thus, quelling the screaming two year old into a permanent state of non-exclusionary time out. I have compassion for and hold the 'victim energy' of my reality gently and sweetly while promising to notice, protect and act on behalf of my entire well-being as I mend the broken seems of the DNA of my ancestral lineage.

Enjoy these  links and begin your own healing journey...

Gramma's Genes Are Your Genes!

Are you a 'GWC', Grown Wounded Child?

'ANANTA Shesha'-- 5-String Dragon Violin!!!  

 Alas, I am super-blessed on soooo many levels!  

My friend Jessupe Goldastini has hand and custom made a 5-string violin for me and it is finished!  Mr. Goldastini and I met when he hired me to tune and play a plethora of gorgeous violins that he designed, customized and crafted by hand.  Jessupe Goldastini is a carpentar by trade who is uniquely fascinated by both wood and violins and has successfully combined both of his passions into the most visually and aurally stimulating experience in the world  

Jessupe Goldastini breaks the barriers of traditional 'violin making' by using 'untraditional' designs, woods and curing treatments.  Mr. Goldastini uses a more ecologically friendly and environmentally healthy approach in his custom made recipes for varnish and curing by using plant and sugar based alchemy vs. the more traditionally chemical based lacquers and varnishes used in modern violin making.  For example, on my new violin, 'ANANTA Shesha', he used Grendalia plant cured in alcohol to create a water retardant for the wood inside the 'box' of the violin.  The top is made of cedar wood; the back is sapple (african mohagany); the finger board is jatoba (brazilian cherry) with a center-liner of american cherry; the tailpiece is crab wood; the pegs are mohagany.  The accents of the dragon identity were delicately carved to resemble scales; the eyes, 3rd-eye and tail piece are accentuated with blue sapphire gems.   Again, the curing and lacquer finish is an alchemical designed by Goldastini that is sugar-based.  Mr. Goldastini uses 'non-traditional' woods for various reasons primarily driven by ecology, longevity & artistic inspiration.  "I designed your violin using these elements because I was motivated to create something timeless and resilient.  The cedar, sapple, jatoba and crab woods are bug and decay resistant naturally giving this violin a much longer life span than the typical standard woods of spruce or pine", Goldastini remarks. Given that the meaning of ANANTA in sanskrit is timeless, limitless, infinite and that 'ANANTA Shesha' is the serpent that held 'Lord Vishnu' in the sea of 'Samsara', it is clearly apparent that Mr. Goldastini captured the essence of this concept in this artistic creation.  The tone of this violin is beautifully resonant beyond measure because the box is slightly larger than a standard violin; thus, compensating for the 5th string.  The upper-register is uniquely crisp and clean giving the instrument a broader horizon than most.  For more of Jessupe Goldastini's art and work please visit: Should you purchase a master-piece tell him ANANTA sent you!

I will be playing 'ANANATA Shesha'  all over the world at various locations!

For pickies of 'ANANTA Shesha' go to my facebook page.

Enjoy and hope to see you very soon!


Integrity and the microcosm/macrocosm of existence. . .  

Feels as though each of you has picked me up and brushed me off, tickled me and given me hope/inspiration.

I super-love my life and my opportunities for sharing my gifts with the world--that is priceless, regardless. However, something is bugging me.  It is all too often that I observe, in my little microcosm, how many people tout 'enlightment, peace, love and happiness' while their actions actually communicate something different-often in the same breath. In this weekend alone, I have observed both myself and a very dear friend being taken advantage of emotionally, financially and creatively by 'enlightened/priviledged' people. Then, on the macrocosm, we cant figure out, as a global community, why we are experiencing so much karmic aftermath from Natural disasters to war to the explosion of nuclear power plants. The actions on the microcosm have a direct effect on the macrocosm! So, I'd like to strongly urge people to practice this very idea, "LIVE YOUR LIVES IN SUCH A WAY THAT YOU NEVER HAVE TO APOLOGIZE!"

Butterflies Fly So Free 

Current mood:awake

Butterflies have always been a symbol of the most delicate yet hearty purity ever seen, felt or experienced 'in my reality'. I have always worshipped, honored and adored these effortlessly light creatures and have paid close attention to their vibe whenever I have been honored to be in the presence of a Butterfly--whether it wisps by or actually spends time in my vicinity; so much so, that I've halted conversations or even changed plans just to avail myself to their presence. 

My wish, my life time wish has been to have just one Butterfly alight upon me. Why? Because in my observations and actual studies of these powerfully divine creatures, the one thing that rings abundantly clear for me is that they are extremely choosy of where they land and upon what/who they land. I've never seen a Butterfly land on anything that was vibration-ally unsettled and yet they are committed to their course of migration regardless--even to the death through torrential landscapes and atmospheres--sticking to their course without wavering. It has also been my lifetime commitment to get to a place spiritually, physically, emotionally and vibration-ally where my friends, that I adore with my whole being, can be in my presence and sense the stillness within so that they might find refuge for a moment on their journey. I view these two aspects, stillness and determination, as great inner-personal challenges. I continually ask myself, Can I become a place of stillness for such a divine creature to take light upon? Can I approach my own life with the same endurance and enthusiasm as these unwavering little beings? Can I embrace and practice the strength and the softness that it takes to complete this journey as gracefully as my winged teachers?

When I found myself surrounded by the creatures I honor so much, I was completely unable to be anywhere except the present moment. As I stood amongst the tall pines that surrounded me the Butterflies started flittering around me. I gave them my undivided attention. One, landed on my finger then another and another soon there were hundreds flying through the area and lots of friends landing upon me kissing me and loving me. I have never felt such strength, softness, stillness, purity and divinity than in the moments of receiving the blessings of love and strength. The 'Butterfly Icon' is one of transformation and healing--I certainly have been rearranged and so softly, deeply touched.

I am, again, very thankful to have had the honor to experience yet another dream come true in this present reality!!!!